‘..The opposite of fair is dark and that is normal and lovely too.’
We have grown up believing that the fairer we look, the better chances we have in terms of a better life partner, a better job prospect, a fancy wardrobe, and most importantly society’s acceptance. Fairness slowly became a synonym for being successful in such a way that hardwork and diligence became secondary, and physical appearances ruled the world.
The fairness and beauty creams since then, have made this their sole motto to repeatedly disregard a dark complexion and make way for a profitable market by selling a fairer future. Be it a superstar or a potential sportsperson, all joined the race of fake powdered dualities.
But not anymore.
People are finally ready to accept who they are and not getting swayed away by fancy photoshopped realties. A dark complexion is no more a thing to look down upon. Infact, it has become the synonym of power and beauty.
We bring you 9 Indian women, all of different ages and professions, on their experiences about how they were treated by society for having dark skin.
1. Smrithi Rao, 30, associate manager, Myntra
“Most of my so called ‘trauma’ was self induced. As a kid I was fascinated by the idea of fair skin. It was probably because you’d hear elders or watch movies that associate beauty with being fair. I’ve gone through a phase where I obsessed over being fair. So, this one time a friend mine in school suggested we sandpaper our skin to make it fair. So we made all necessary arrangements. But just in time my mom caught us. She sat me down and told me what I was about do would have been extremely harmful and achieving fairness should never be my end goal. It didn’t make a lot of sense then but in hindsight I am glad I got caught. Now I wish I could tell my younger self that it’s OK. It’s OK to be dark-skinned and I should focus on building relationships, a sense of humour, being a good person and on expressing myself better.”
2. Mandovi Menon, 26, editor and co-founder, Homegrown
“I was a pretty serious athlete and I was always in the sun. These feelings haven’t changed over time either, so the idea of trying to be fairer completely contradicted everything I love doing the most. Skin colour has never been a cause for concern in a superficial external way, it’s definitely a marker of identity for me but I suppose I haven’t had any insecurities about it. In fact, I’ve always really loved the colour of my skin, if only from an aesthetic viewpoint.”
3. Nikhita Chinnari, 21, financial analyst
“Everyone seems to be chasing a fair saviour to procreate with and make fair babies dipped in milk and rice flour. Barring four years in Orissa, I lived my whole life in Bombay. I was never made to feel conscious about my skin while growing up which is probably why it never affected me. I’ve obviously been teased and called ‘kaali’ but I’d grown indifferent to it simply because I knew it didn’t matter. In fact I’d feel the same way if I had electric pink skin.”
4. Megha Ramesh, 28, copywriter
“I was teased in school. I remember feeling so dramatically awful in school that I think it has to some extent bruised my self-confidence permanently. I want to tell my younger self that it’s okay. It could have been much worse, kids are born fighting through a lot more. I was stupid to cry in the shower; feeling ugly – all because someone said I was. There have been times when I thought it’ll be easier to be fair, but I’ve gotten used to myself and grown to love myself. I like that blemishes don’t show up that easy on my skin. I like that turquoise eyeliner really pops and red lipstick stands out. White skin is normal and over. Chocolate, caramel, toffee – it’s all in.”
5. Mariette Valsan, model/actor
“I remember an incident where I wasn’t allowed to audition for a hair commercial saying I didn’t fit the look. I was puzzled and proceeded to ask what look they were going for and the casting director let it slip that I was too dark to do the commercial. Which was hilarious and outrageous both, because I was auditioning for a HAIR commercial. And then again, recently, I was shooting for a TVC and the clients were American. They came up to me and said I looked absolutely beautiful on camera and my skin tone shone. They said they paid to get spray tans for a tone similar to mine. We laughed about it then but the moment stuck in my head when I realised that half the world made such an effort to get what I am naturally blessed with.”
6. Megha Ramaswamy, 33, artist/filmmaker
“If I could speak to my younger self, I’d tell myself it’s a long journey to security and understanding but always be comfortable calling yourself a dark girl. You’re not wheatish or dusky or like chocolate. The opposite of fair is dark and that is normal and lovely too.”
7. Vinitha Shetty, 25, blogger/brand manager
“Growing up I was made to feel so ugly by both the kids around me and my relatives. I would not want to go out as much, or smile too wide as I hated my black gums, I wouldn’t wear dresses because I was conscious of my dark knees. I have overcome all that only through time. And more importantly, I no longer care. But now when I think about it, I feel a deeper part of this problem is the lack of representation. When I started my blog, I was pleasantly surprised to get so many positive reactions from other dark-skinned young girls over how I could carry off bold colours and so on. It was great to hear. And I can’t quite believe I am saying this but I love my skin colour and the way I am right now. I didn’t think it would be this easy after I turned older.”
8. Sangeetha Thomas, 28, VP Goldman Sachs
“I was very influenced when I read the story of Waris Dirie (I read about her in a story published by Reader’s Digest as a child) and was deeply influenced by her attitude and wowed by her beauty – I was secretly happier that I was dark after reading about her.”
9. Lavanya Kannan, 28, photographer
“Society is more vicious about colourism than I thought as I was growing up. This is maybe because I was shielded from any irregular comments because of the attitudes of my parents and so I never took it very seriously. My sister is paler than me, and I never felt discriminated by my parents because of it. But right now, perceptions of beauty have shifted. But I still don’t believe that people have never liked dark skin, I refuse to believe that.”
